1. |
Four Pints and a Funeral
01:18
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The perilous journey has just begun
Absolute focus and concentration
Steady my hands, must not spill a drop
Lads are thirsty and were drinking nonstop
The precious cargo of amber liquid
Four icy pints my hands are frigid
I come to a door, no time to linger
I reach for the handle with my little finger
The door starts to move
beers start to tip
this is going to shit
The beer hits the floor
so do my tears
I’ve come to realise
my worst of fears
FOUR PINTS
All over the floor
FOUR PINTS
now I need 4 more
ONE FOOT
In front of the other
I head to the bar
Tail between my legs
9 FOOT
Are in the beer garden
Wanting their drinks and I can not let them down
The door starts to move
The beers start to tip
This is going to shit
The beer hits the floor
So do my tears
I’ve come to realise
My worst of fears
All
Those
Beers
Next time I’ll just
do a two trips instead
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2. |
Vape Lord
01:08
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He’s the oxygen felon
Reeking of melon
Sucking on clouds
His aromatic smog
Has us wading through fog
A nightmare in crowds
Burning through friends
Faster than coils
No one likes him or his sweet-smelling oils
Just don’t engage him
Is the consensus
No one can stand his assault on the senses
Vape Lord
You know he’s coming, there’s grape on the breeze
Billowing clouds, making everyone wheeze
Vape Lord
That strawberry cheesecake fills you with dread
Vape somewhere else you fragrant fuckhead
Vape Lord
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3. |
Seagull
00:13
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Lovely day
At the pub
Feeling hungry
Get some grub
Can I just
STEAL YOUR CHIPS
I’ll only take 1 or 2
STEAL YOUR CHIPS
Don’t get mad it’s just a few
STEAL YOUR CHIPS
Reaching over
once again
1 or 2 turns to 10
STEAL YOUR CHIPS
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4. |
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So I'm walking to the servo and fuck me I'm hungover
It's 40 odd degrees and I feel like shit
All I want in this world is a Gatorade and a maybe a rock hard beef and cheese pie
So I grab my shit and walk on up to the counter
And I say 'just that thanks mate'
he says to me 'any fuel?'
I say 'nah mate just the pie and the Gatorade, that's it'
Cheers
Just trying to fuel up so I can scrape by
Get my 2 and 5 in my Gatorade and pie
Hungover midmorning
Servo Run
Bleary eyed, battling
Servo Run
'How about flybys, you got any flybys?'
I say 'nah mate just the pie and the Gatorade thats it'
'Well would you like to join our rewards program?'
'Nah mate I really fucking wouldn't'
He says 'its two pies for 6 dollars'
'I just want one fucking pie'
'For extra 50c you can get 2 gatorades'
'I don't give a fuck if you give me 50 gatorades all I want is one fucking Gatorade'
I don't give a fuck about your everyday rewards
I'm trying not to spew all over your floor
Hungover midmorning
Servo Run
Bleary eyed, battling
Servo Run
Knock back the Gatorade, electrolytes are for
Sorting out the 20 cans you drank the night before
Now you're cutting 4 odd inches from your neighbors hose
Its getting shorter every month and honestly it shows
Windin' your way down on Baker Street
The Gatorade sax playing tunes so sweet
Melt a couple holes for the shotty and the pipe
Cone piece in and it's starting to look right
An affordable solution, I'm not made of cash
I sourced a dirty 30 from the local open house
Windin' your way down on Baker Street
The Gatorade sax playing tunes so sweet
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5. |
Don't Skip Legs
01:43
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You've met him before
There's one in every gym
Thinks he’s pretty clever but he’s really quite dim
Invisible lats
Convinced he’s world class
Head so far up his well toned ass
Roided up meat head
He’s legit
Roided up meat head
Piece of shit
Biceps bulging
He’s roided to the gills
You can hear him coming by the rattle of the pills
His latest PB
Is resting on the rack
He won’t even put the fucking weight back
Roided up meat head
He’s legit
Roided up meat head
Piece of shit
He’ll hand out advice, rest assured
Thanks for the tips mate, I’ll take them on board
The entire gym can hear him grunt
WHAT A
FUCKING
CUNT
12 REPS
Or is it 16
6 SETS
Stop hogging the machine
DON’T SKIP LEGS
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6. |
Carpark Cocktease
00:32
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Quick trip to the shops
In and out a minute tops
Parking spots, none within
Things are looking pretty grim
But Wait
Is that
A parking spot I see
It seems
That things
Are looking up for me
Shit eating grin
As I drive to check it out
I feel my joy slip away
is that a bumper poking out
There's nothing here for me
Nothing I can do
2 door corolla
Tucked in out of view
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7. |
Round Dodger
00:41
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He’s never around when it’s his turn to buy
Had to make a call I suspect that’s a lie
It’s just like him to dodge a round
He’s been in the shitter since quarter past three
It's 4:30 now, guess the next rounds on me
It’s just like him to fuck around
Our pints are done but so is he
YOU'RE UP MATE
watch him flee
Not a bloke that you’d count on
YOU'RE UP MATE
and he’s gone
Fucking cheapskate
YOU'RE UP MATE
He’s never around when its his turn to buy
Next time around he can drink with the flies
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8. |
m'Satan
02:04
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Simping for the devil, guitar tone all treble
Won’t listen to anything but shitty black metal
He plays it all day from his mums back shed
Only room for one in his pungent single bed
ALL ABOUT RULES
NOT ABOUT FUN
I’m yearning to be lucifers son
ALL ABOUT RULES
NOT ABOUT FUN
Show us the way, o evil one
It’s hard to be frostbitten at the heart of winter
When it’s 40 odd degrees, burning to a cinder
His Bathory shirt could do with a wash
It smells like shit but he never takes it off
Worship
Dark Lord
Evil One
M’satan
If Satan had an only fans he be the first to sub
That’s 10 dollars a month for beezlebub
Kindly
Tips His
Fedora
M’satan
ALL ABOUT RULES
NOT ABOUT FUN
Crying so hard that my corpse paint runs
ALL ABOUT RULES
NOT ABOUT FUN
Open the gates my beloved satan
It’s hard to be frostbitten at the heart of winter
When it’s 40 odd degrees, burning to a cinder
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9 Foot Super Soldier Perth, Australia
Armed with a blistering bombast of banter laden Crossover they've dubbed "Party Violence" 9 Foot Super Soldier are here to amuse, shock & entertain
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